The Difference between Them and Us!
English Türkçe Kurdî
كوردی عربي فارسى


The Difference between Them and Us!

When they became old, American women have more time to take care of their health, beauty, and all their lives. When they become old, Kurdish women fear God’s punishment. 

In the shopping mall where I am working, almost every day, I see American women who come by their brand new cars to eat hot dogs and four berry sundaes. Their nails are painted in a very nice design by Chinese girls; they use the same nail color for their lipstick, and they come alone or with a cute puppy or with the husband, laughing loudly, sitting and asking the husband: “Honey what do you like? Ice tea or diet coke?” 

They appear to feel calm and peaceful in their hearts. Women in the U.S. from the age 14 or 15 start to love and have boyfriends over the years, they may change their boyfriends several times. Moreover, during all their life they have choices; they have the right to say yes or no and to do what they really want to do. In the U.S. nobody controls the young girls or stops them from having boyfriends. A father has no right to say to his daughter: “If your boyfriend does not marry you, I will kill both of you.”

A brother could not say: “I will kill you if I see you with him or if you talk with him even over the phone.” 

American women normally have the right to love someone, leave whom they do not like or are no longer in love with; they can marry at any age they like, and divorce any time without public disgrace or feeling shame that they have been divorced. 

When they became old, women in the U.S. do not have any feminist dreams that have not happened during their lives, no dreams that have not been achieved because of the authority of culture, religion or family. Women in the U.S. have the soul full of tranquility and freedom; there is no fear of people or God’s punishment.

Every day they bring their dogs out, walking them and treating them in a merciful way, mowing the lawn in front of the house, watering plants, feeding birds, and waiting enthusiastically for their grandsons and granddaughters to celebrate Christmas day together.

The women here know for a fact that God is merciful and gracious; they are pretty sure that God created the human being to live and be happy; to be kind instead of tortured, by others or themselves.

But, miserably, the women in my country, Kurdistan, fear their own shadows; when their breasts are growing they wear a very tight tank top to hide them, and when they become a little older, they marry or may have a relationship with a boy, but that boy will be the first and last man in their entire life because when a young girl loves someone, she should marry him. There is no way she will say to her lovely one: “You or no one,” because no one wants her if people know that she had another relationship in the past, or sometimes when the father knows that his daughter loves someone, he will never let her marry the one she loves. 

When marriage happens the husband will become the owner of the wife just like any other property, and this ownership will extend until death. Love and marriage if they happen, will happen one time in the woman's life, and if she is an unlucky woman, she will divorce one time; if that happens she stays and lives detached from her community. 

When they become pregnant, women in my country hide their baby bump under baggy clothes; they feel shame from God's gift. When they become old they repent for those sins that they never committed and ask for forgiveness from God for affection that had never been made by them outside marriage. They will cry for the love that they never experienced when they were teenagers. 

One day when I was 9 years old, I asked my aunt: “Aunt Fatima why do you cry every time you pray?” She smiled with tear-stained cheeks and said: “I am afraid God will punish me for my sins.”  I asked: “What is your sin Aunt Fatima“. She couldn’t say even one more word, and crying blurred her vision. Women pray on the mat, they tighten their covers more and more because they are afraid that God will torture them in the hereafter as a consequence of hugging their lovers, touching them, and seducing them; they would never ever dare to do these things even in their dreams.